REIGNING CAT & DOGS

What if your spouse/significant other or your kids woke you every morning by sticking their tongue in your ear &/or licking your face (or whatever happens to be outside the covers) and then barked or caterwalled at the top of their lungs for you to, "Feed me, feed me, feed me!" (Some of you may be thinking that they actually do that now.) You’d never put up with that kind of behavior. BUT, when Spot or Fluffy does it, you think its soooooo cute.

Imagine if someone in your family did absolutely nothing all day but slept on your desk all day long, then every time you tried to get some work done, he/she would ‘plop’ onto your lap and stick his/her nails in your thigh and say, "Scratch me behind the ears! Now!" The first time it might be cute. The second time, you’d tolerate it. But somewhere around the 10th time you'd have someone’s bags packed.

I have pets, and a lot of people I know have pets. We love them because they don't know or care if we're rich or poor, if we're fat or thin, what religion we ascribe to, that the neighbors have a better car or that the Jones’ have a bigger house. They could care less whether or not we had a happy or unhappy childhood, that our boss is a jerk, that our sciatica's acting up again, or who we vote for. Or, if they do, at least they keep it to themselves.

The truth is, I think, that if pets could speak, no one would have one. Would your cat be as lovable if he/she tried to convert you to some weird religious cult that worships the God of Fur? What if it turned out that your dog had different political views than you do? Would you still buy him those expensive treats? What if they constantly complained that you never leave the toilet lid up so they have access to the “fresh” water in the toilet bowl? It's because they can’t talk that pets get away with virtually anything and we spoil them silly.

Here’s an example, my husband and I had our families over for Christmas/Hanukah last year. Some lived here in KC & some were in from out of town. There is the usual conversation and perhaps some bickering about who always or never does what, who paid too much for something, etc. Typical family stuff that you makes you glad holidays are few and far between. In the middle of dinner, someone looks down and sees a large puddle on the hardwood floor near the dining room table. It had been raining quite hard lately, and whoever it was nudged my husband, Dale, and said "I think you've got a serious leak."

Dale looked at me & I looked over at Sedgwick, our aging lab that’s just starting to have a small incontinence problem. It was sort of embarrassing, but without ceremony, I went to get some paper towels and some cleanser to wipe it up. As I passed the dog I gave her a great big hug and fussed over her. Later, however, it dawned on me that if Dale or one of the kids or even Great Grandma had done that and not the dog, my response and the response of our extended family would have been completely different. We'd be talking about it for the rest of our lives. It would have been on the six o'clock news. Yet, the dog does it and it gets a big friendly pat on the head.

Why, then, aren’t we at least as smart as the dog. You’d think we all would have learned by now to just keep our mouths shut. If we went about our business silently, couldn’t we leave the bathroom any way we wanted, golf or shop as often as we wanted, and only weed whack & do laundry whenever we were in the mood? All that would be required of us would be to act as if we were happy to see every member of our family every time we saw one another, and lick someone’s face every now and then.